The idea of this however can be seen from a good light.... they seek the help of this children in little means necessary in exchange for a better life, example education and better experiences of life ( possible exposure)
Recently my family acquired the help of one of these young girls, but these one an early freshman in the teenage lifespan
Seeing her brought back old memories of myself as a child, younger than her I was sent to live with my grandma's twin sister, I don't remember much of it though but it was definitely an unpleasant experience for me
It was definitely a strange place, yes they were family, all my cousins (second cousins in line) though related where strange, I didn't want to be around them all I wanted was my mom and family....
This experience was a beginning of torture and endurance for me, I didn't like my new school I didn't like my environment, with time I become a shadow of myself.....I talked less and smiled less, this of course led me to decisions of my Life I wish never happened....
I was the less privileged cousin who came to live with Grandma, most likely seen as unintelligent, it was easy to identify me as different..... I moved with caution as I knew this was not my home, everyone had their mommy but I didn't, they could get whatever they wanted but I couldn't, I was just a child but I knew boundries and what not being part of a family looked like...
I'm not putting this down to show or say I was treated badly by the family I lived with, I'm just saying I never felt good in the picture of this complete family related strangers.. if that makes any sense.....
After a recent research from my end I came to find out the after effect of as much care as I received which everyone thought was best for me this is what taking me away from my mother and not having a father at a very young age where family Bond and principles where yet untaught did to me...
More than anything, we learn how to connect and form bonds with others based on the bonds we’ve had with our caregivers. When there’s a disruption in the parental bond, it often becomes more difficult throughout life to feel emotionally attached to others.
The relationship we had with our parents tends to be repeated in other important relationships. If you felt dismissed, invalidated, or like your needs would not be met, then you likely expect this from others (and treat others similarly). Worse, if you were scared of a parent or saw them as threatening somehow, yet also depended on them for survival, you might find that you have an intense distrust of others or even find yourself in repeated abusive relationships.
When the parental bond resulted in an insecure attachment of sorts, there tends to be a chronic feeling that something is missing. You might spend your life trying to fulfill the needs that weren’t met as a child, and chronically become disappointed because no person can ever fill those needs once you’re an adult.
Sadly, you may even come to believe that you don’t deserve love or not even know how to be close to another human being, reinforcing a pattern of chronic isolation and loneliness...
A history of trauma, pain and rejection can lead to a distorted and painful narrative about oneself that then shapes each new experience one has.......
If you believe deep down that you will be rejected, that parts of yourself are bad, or that you are somehow defective, you will prove yourself right at all costs. You will interpret others’ actions through this lens, discount evidence to the contrary, be attracted to individuals who treat you poorly, and even bring out certain behaviors in others that confirm your narrative.
Further, if you believe you aren’t good enough, then you will believe, on some level, that neither are your friends. Every judgment about yourself becomes manifest 10-fold with others.
This makes it nearly impossible to connect, be vulnerable, or feel an emotional closeness with others. So long as you believe yourself and/or others to be unworthy somehow, it doesn’t matter how many people you have in your life – you will always feel alone.
This does not bode well for emotional closeness. As such, one is never fulfilled and just needs more, more, and more.
To question everything, as soon as something goes wrong, or if someone else tells you something is wrong, questions start to arise about who you’re spending time with. Others’ opinions become truth.
Emotional connection requires being in touch well with your emotions. And, being able to trust those emotions without anyone else telling you what you should or should not do. No one is an expert on you besides you.
