Losing something we never had!

Losing something we never had can be both a blessing and a curse.

Isn't it true that sometimes we blame a particular misfortune on something we were supposed to have but never did? 

Losing a parent or parents: losing a father or mother can never be a blessing will always definitely be a curse, but it can be a means to an end.

Father: Using myself as an example there are times in my life, I have felt the hardships i faced were due to the fact that I didn't have a father and I spend most of my time thinking things or fantasizing about things that would have happened, how my life would have been easier if my father was here to lay the foundations of financial stability in the family.

Mother: losing a mother can be even more traumatizing, it can make us go from happy to sad or emotional when we see people enjoying what we never had the opportunity to have example family gatherings and all the things that involves a mother. 

Spouse: becoming a widow or a widower at a very young age can even be worse at a high level, except for divorce, this time we are fully aware we would never be able to see this person again sometimes it doesn't really matter if they were 100% good to us the feeling of never really having them anymore is deeper than one can really admit or be able to express either explain.

Right now I'm more focused on those ones we were never really able to have, like the first option losing parents.... during child birth, or even before we knew how to walk.

If we are not careful this can scream danger in our lives, because rather than enjoying the things we are blessed with, the things we can see, we dwell on the past and how much the past would have made a difference losing a father could make you feel like you were unfortunate and most times could bring unhappiness and sadness possibly from peer groups, friends or any other family member (when we see them with their parents) it can make us not really see the efforts others are trying to make in our lives, no matter how small, we might feel if a particular person we had lost was alive things would be so much more better than they already are, maybe it is true maybe it is not but we cannot disagree about the effects this might have in our daily lives.

Others that have mothers are used to being shouted at by their mothers and in an African home even being spanked, but if you do this to a motherless child there is always this feeling that my mother would have done better, my mother wouldn't have reacted this way, there's always this feeling of not being satisfied with efforts others were putting, you feel your loss has made you less deserving or not being sacrificed enough for, the point I'm trying to make is

It's in the nature of humans to always look out for those things they do not have and go as far as blaming their misfortunes on those things that has never existed or existed for a very short period of time.

This is not a post to bring out the negativity of losing or the positivity of it, it's more like opening up about the effect of losing what we never had and if possible reaching out to the reader's mind to look out for things that they have already in front of them better than dwelling in the past.